When I Really Needed You, You Weren’t There

When I really needed you, you weren’t there.  This destroyed me and filled me with sadness. When I needed you most, loneliness was my only company. I expected more from you, and you disappointed me. When I really needed you, I drowned in sadness. Will it be time to change my view of myself and others?

Very often we feel the need for someone. Maybe because we feel bad, because we need support, because we want a shoulder to cry on… However, what happens when there is no one in these moments? No one who gives us the attention we would like. Why, suddenly, no one can come and reach out to us that hand to which we silently cry for help?

Surely you have experienced a situation like this on more than one occasion and, if it has never happened to you, consider yourself lucky! Because there is no worse feeling than when you need someone who is not there for us.

When you realize you don’t exist

The worst thing that can happen to us is to realize that for someone, for that person we considered special, we don’t exist.  It is a very negative feeling, which brings out emotions of abandonment, of rejection.

When we realize that we don’t exist for others, this can undermine our self-esteem,  especially if we are used to depending on others to value ourselves.

People who have emotional deficiencies of this type are not able to understand that others are not always with them, that there will come times when we find ourselves alone. You have to internalize this fact. People have a limit in your lives, they only go so far. From that point on, you have to advance on your own.

It is a difficult time, a time that many try to delay, but which is inevitable. Nobody will be able to accompany you, nobody will be with you. You will be alone, you will walk alone. Nobody will need you, nobody will call you … It will be your worst moment, in which the feeling of abandonment will reach unbearable levels.

Free yourself from attachments

The feeling of loneliness and abandonment that we often feel, as if we were alone in the face of danger, manifests an attachment to things that have always accompanied us.

Since we are little, we get used to doing certain activities / things with friends, with family, but what if one day we were alone? We must learn not to depend on anyone to continue our journey,  to do the things we really want to do. Always keep the following tips in mind:

• Love and value yourselves, because when you find yourself alone, you will realize that you really are not: you have yourself! Learn to love yourself and not to allow your self-esteem to depend on others,  much less your happiness.
• Socialize with loneliness: Sometimes we think loneliness is bad, but that’s not the case. Learn to look at it with different eyes. You could learn a lot, such as getting to know yourself better.

• Make sure that your happiness does not depend on others: if you allow it, you will limit yourself to a rush of emotions that will make you feel frustrated and completely unhappy. Seek happiness in yourself and not in others.
• Learn to say goodbye:  something that no one teaches us, but indispensable. People will come and go from your life, they will hurt you, they will disappoint you… Saying goodbye to them takes effort, but it is something that you must learn to do as soon as possible.
• Do not expect anything from anyone: as, sometimes, our expectations are too high compared to others and we expect too much from them. Avoid deceiving yourself, do not expect anything from others: in this way, you will be much happier!

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you needed someone who wasn’t there? Learn from these experiences and eliminate the “when I really needed you, you were not there” from your mind. You just need yourself. You will never get hurt, you will always be there.

Look for no hand to help you, you have your feet, your hands, your body and your mind. Don’t depend on anyone, be happy! Learn to love and value yourself. You have yourself, that’s more than enough.