We Are Not Past, We Are Present
In our past the path we have traced to get to where we are now is marked. It therefore has a strong influence on what we think, what we say, the way we act or face life. Experiences lived, lessons learned, people we have known or what we have learned during our life are part of the person we are today.
What we did in the past defined the person back then. But now we are different, we are in the present. Human beings change, they do it every day, inevitably, through any new information or learning they acquire.
For this reason, being pleased or complaining about things done in the past only serves to hurt ourselves. It is also true that guilt is an emotion that, in the right doses, can help us recover where we had failed. However, if we exaggerate with guilt, it will turn into obsession, a toxic emotion that will make the present slip out of our hands and prevent us from finding a solution to our past.
The past is unreal
When we say that something is unreal, we mean that it is not tangible, it cannot be accessed: it cannot be touched, smelled, seen or heard. Something that cannot be perceived with our five senses does not exist. This is not to say that it did not exist or was not real at another time in our life. What happened happened and we are obviously aware of it, but now it is real only in our mind, in our psychological dimension.
This is why it is worth making an effort to “relocate” ourselves to the present whenever our mind wanders into the past. As well as when it lingers on the future, enveloping us in useless anxiety. The only thing that really exists is always the here and now. The before and after live only in our heads.
There is a difference between the reality of the present, the one on which we have a real influence, and the psychological reality. In the latter case, some of the actions we carry out in the present are not only useless on a practical level, but come to be harmful because they are linked to what has happened or what will happen. Being distressed today by yesterday’s events is equivalent to wasting the time that is finished at our disposal.
How can I focus my life on the present?
The first step is to realize that the past is not real. Maybe it was at another time, but not today, not this instant. It will be up to stop giving importance or value to what does not exist. What can undoubtedly be done is to draw a lesson from it so that now, in the present, the past is useful and becomes part of us, but without leaving it too much space in our present reality.
If you realize that your thoughts contain a “should have been” or “shouldn’t have happened”, force your mind to go back to “this is what is happening now and so it should be”. This exercise, if practiced with awareness, will help you get used to inserting yourself into the present.
Finally, abandon anything in the present that you know is aimed, utopically, at changing the past. We must accept that the past cannot be changed: what happened happened and that’s what had to happen. For better or for worse.
There is no point in punishing yourself, expressing your frustration to others, praying, begging or brooding. The only thing worth dwelling on are the lessons that can be drawn to not make the same mistake today or tomorrow.
Live in the present, focus on what surrounds you: the people you are dating now, the objects you are touching, the smells, the food, the noises of the present. Nothing else exists, at least now. Live this today and get rid of your past.
