We Are What We Think And Who We Hang Out With

We are what we think, but the people we surround ourselves with also define us. No context is neutral, and few situations are unrelated to the influence others may have on us, based on what they say, do or give up on. So while we would like the influence to be entirely positive and inspiring, the truth is that sometimes we feel the opposite.

In the literature on personal growth and in the world of positive phrases that invade our social profiles there is the classic message: “always try to surround yourself with people who enrich you”, those who bring out only the best in us. Yet, let’s face it, it’s not always possible, for very specific reasons.

We are what we think and we are the product of our social relationships

All of us, in part, are the result of those who gave us life and educated us ; we are the product of our interactions with people we met at school, college, workplace or in other social settings. It is not always possible for us to choose these figures; in most cases, they are given to us and, therefore, sometimes we are forced to live with those we do not like at all.

In this sense, and although ultimately experience has taught us how to relate to those who do not put us at ease or to those who cause us anguish rather than happiness, the result of these interactions and experiences also determines who we are. So, who we are today is the complex, but beautiful, set of bonds with each of the people who have made – and are – part of our existential journey.

The people we surround ourselves with also define who we are

Jim Rohn, entrepreneur and renowned author of books on motivation, happiness and leadership, says that each of us is the result of the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with. There is a subtle but obvious nuance, and it is that these figures with whom we share the most hours of the day are our partner, our family and our friends.

Sometimes, and because of our working days, we spend more time outside the home. This means, for example, that the influence of co-workers, bosses and other company figures largely define our mood. Furthermore, there is another detail that has a great impact on our well-being.

We are what we think, with the people we love most

Dividing our time between multiple social contexts does not always reflect on our well-being. Sometimes, our days are a complex succession of movements for which we go from home to work, from the gym to various courses, from the supermarket to family visits, to the time shared with people who like us or not … All this often leads us to accumulate a strong load of stress that we are not always aware of.

Thus, the study conducted by the School of Political Science and the University of Singapore indicates that although well-being is subjective, we perceive greater happiness when we share our time with fewer people, as long as they are important to us and enrich us.

The people we surround ourselves with affect us

This is a fact. The people around us, in some way, define us because they are part of the context to which we have to adapt. This often occurs at the family level. Each of us ends up wedging individual pieces into the machine our parents built.

We are defined by duties, advice given or not given, words, silences, what we see and also the expectations that arise in us. On the other hand, this can also happen at the couple level, where we end up internalizing, almost without realizing it, many characteristics of the other person and vice versa.

We are in control: we choose well the companions of this journey that is life

Seneca said that life is a play and that for this reason it doesn’t matter how long it lasts, but how it was staged. To this wise message is added another: in this context we are not always alone. There are more actors in the representation of life and it is up to us whether to act as protagonists or as simple extras.

The people we surround ourselves with determine who we are, we know. You can’t choose your family, but you can decide, at the right moment, who to keep in touch with and who not to. We can’t even “turn off” – as if it were a video game – those uncomfortable co-workers, classmates, neighbors or acquaintances that we often don’t like.

We are what we think, we are the people we surround ourselves with

While these people cannot be avoided, what we can do, however, is learn to manage them, setting boundaries, opening emotional umbrellas and avoiding their attitudes exerting some power over us. On the other hand, and here comes the most important point, each of us has a margin of freedom to decide who to let in and who to let out of our life.

Surrounding yourself with good people is not an art, it is a need. Having inspirational figures at your side that allow us to bring out the best in us is not a gift, but a privilege. We are made of what we think. Let’s keep this in mind every day.