Don’t Let Others Project Their Negativity Onto You
Who hasn’t ever received criticism? All of us, sooner or later, are victims of people who are envious of our work, angry at our way of being or acting or who simply were not comfortable with themselves and needed to project their negativity onto someone. Perhaps you have also happened to find yourselves in their place.
A criticism can do us a lot of harm. Depending on the day we have had or our levels of self – esteem , we can decide to ignore it or allow it to make us suffer. That’s right: you are allowing negativity to project onto you, because you cannot control the actions of others, but you can control the influence they have on you.
Whoever criticizes you defines himself
We are not all the same. Maybe your best friend is not criticized by others, but you do. To be able to change things, it is important to change the perspective from which you look at this situation. Why on earth would a person criticize you with the aim of harming you? Perhaps, in truth, what it is doing is criticizing what defines it.
Very often, in fact, we project our insecurities and fears onto others, those needs that we throw at others as if they were poisonous arrows, because we have not been able to fill them. In this way, we try to feel better about ourselves. We don’t realize that instead of solving the problem, we’re trying to get around it.
Whenever someone projects their negativity onto you, you have to think that it is a defense mechanism. That person is trying to defend themselves from all impulses, actions and thoughts that they do not want to recognize as their own. His internal denial mechanisms lead him to project those shortcomings onto you in order not to be forced to accept them, metabolize them and resolve them.
Let’s take a very common example. Think of those relationships in which one partner accuses the other of being unfaithful to him when he has no real evidence that leads him to suspect it. There are many explanations that could justify this situation.
Often what happens is that the person accusing the partner has also had thoughts of infidelity, but does not accept them because he considers them negative. Since he needs to feel better about himself, he projects this insecurity onto his partner: he transfers his fear to him to cover up thoughts he can’t handle.
But the important thing right now is how you will react. Will you let that negativity they throw at you subdue you? Do you really want to continue being by the side of a person who hurts you, instead of denying yourself doing what you don’t want to do? If you continue to put up with everything for fear of the judgment of others, can you hope to get better?
Learn to counter negativity
Sometimes it’s hard to stay calm in front of a person who doesn’t behave well with you. Still, it is necessary to make an effort, because this is your best weapon to prevent the other person’s fears and insecurities from affecting you. In this way, you will also be able to analyze with greater clarity the reasons that are leading her to treat you badly. At best, it could even turn out to be a positive experience.
Do you know what is the best way to stop worrying too much about such a situation? Laughing may seem absurd to you, but in reality it is a fundamental weapon. A smile in a difficult time can help you a lot, even if you don’t believe it. Start practicing this advice today and you will see that any criticism or negative judgment will have a much smaller emotional impact on you.
Likewise, don’t forget that a criticism is just a personal opinion. For this reason, it shouldn’t have a major impact on you, as it is clear that not everyone sees things the same way. Also, how many times has someone judged you without really knowing you?
It is also very important to pay attention to how the person who is criticizing you behaves. Usually someone who projects their needs or fears onto others is a very emotional person. His words let out emotions that always make everything seem much more serious than it really is.
When this happens, it means that you are facing a person whose words are not really addressed to you, but to themselves. His fears and insecurities are projected onto you, but in reality there is nothing wrong with you, you are not doing anything wrong. It is she who is afraid of accepting something she does not like about herself and therefore reflects her thoughts on you.
Throughout your life you will often find yourself dealing with similar people. Many are toxic individuals, who will not only fill your life with negativity, but may also transmit harmful and harmful emotions and feelings to you, which will put a spoke in the wheel. The best way to not allow this is to stay calm and have faith in yourself. What they tell you is not always true: it can be the result of their own fear and insecurity.
