I Listen To Everyone, But I Decide

There are songs that tell us that life cannot be understood without drinking a good coffee with friends, perhaps because the best conversations and the most useful advice arise with them. In fact, when I have to make an important decision, those coffees are real energy: in those moments I listen and let myself be listened to, even if in the end it is always me who decides.

And when I say coffee, I mean any other moment of closeness with friends, because  contact with people close to us profoundly benefits our emotional health  and helps us to manage complex emotions that we have to deal with every day.

Allowing our inner “I” to express itself with the people of our closest social circle will lead to various advantages, especially in times when we feel particularly disheartened and deeply confused: there are many difficult paths that open up in front of us and to walk in company makes us stronger and more stable.

Being heard helps us see what is invisible to our eyes

The first great advantage of being listened to is, undoubtedly, having the opportunity to hear another point of view:  problems afflict us, put pressure on us and fill us with responsibility, for this reason a point of view different from ours can help to answer. to some unknowns about it.

Imagine that you have a job and are, in a sense, satisfied with what you do. Still, there will be reasons why you would quit that job, such as being able to be closer to family. You are now being offered a new job that has nothing to do with your past experiences, but which would allow you to be closer to your loved ones. What do you decide to do?

It is very difficult to orient in these cases and understand what the consequences of the two possible decisions are. For this reason, we turn to those who are always there for us and whom we trust: they will give us their point of view, they will allow us to see the pros and cons that we cannot see from our position and, finally, we will still be us to decide.

There is also an external force in individual decisions

In every decision there is a possibility of error, since venturing into a change also implies being able to lose something; it is a condition that we are obliged to accept. Consequently, here it resides 

: The  more we are concerned about a problem, the more we need external strength and wisdom.

How much would we have liked someone to listen to us when, after all, we were just looking for the strength we lacked to make a decision? I decide, yes, but  sometimes I need a push, a hug, some words of support: to think that there will always be someone for me no matter what happens.

That’s right, when we talk about an individual decision, there is always an external force as well, because the loving advice from our loved ones reminds us that they love us, whatever happens, and are only trying to help us get what is best for us. we.

I decide, because the consequences are mine alone

What is certain is that behind the premise of “I listen to everyone, but I decide” there is a reality in which  our life choices may depend on many people, but their consequences fall only on us.

It is very good, as we have already said, to let others offer us their point of view on the options we have, but we are the exclusive masters of the acts we carry out: no one will take responsibility for something that affects only of us, no one will take charge of our wrong choice and no one will bear the weight of the path we have chosen on their shoulders.

For this reason, be aware of what we have told you, do not deny yourself the opportunity to listen, whether or not you agree with what you are told or even if you come to think that they are not opinions given in good faith. It is good to open your mind to other gazes, as long as you are able not to completely lose your personal point of view:  only you know what you need and how you need it, only you can live your way, decide for you, act for you.